May 23, 2008


Sa vad daca imi mai aduc aminte cum se asaza corect in pagina o scrisoare...ah...chiulul dintr-a 8a se simte. Oh well:

Dragi cititori invizibili virgula
Draga blog,

Vreau o schimbare. Gen...incep sa vreau sa imi fac blogul public? Adica vreau, dar dupa aia ma gandesc...cui i-ar pasa? Am un nume de blog ciudat, scriu rar, scriu prost, ma dau mare si nu vreau sa-mi fac un blogroll, ca toata lumea buna. Incep sa cred ca nu am standardele necesare pentru a fi blogger. Sau am baut prea mult aseara si azi migrena din mine abereaza. Ah. Ce am ajuns sa scriu din plictiseala. Pentru asta era Twitter, nu blogu'. simt datoare...daca imi fac blogul public si sa zicem...o sa fie trebui sa scriu mai des, dar pe mine ma doare in...cot? de ce scriu pe blog. Adica imi pasa, dar mi-e lene sa scriu chiar si saptamanal sau lunar, daramite zilnic. Pff. Ce porcarie. Ma duc la comic-urile mele. Sau la desenat.
Aaa da. Banc:
Cica intra un politist intr-o cofetarie ca sa-si cumpere ceva dulce pentru acasa.
Se duce la vanzator si zice:
- Nu va suparati, bomboane este ?
Vanzatorul se uita la el asa mai ciudat si ii zice:
- Domnule, bomboane SUNT !
A doua zi iar se duce politistul sa-si ia ceva dulce de la aceeasi cofetarie:
- Nu va suparati, caramele este ?
Vanzatorul ofticat ii zice:
- Domnule, caramele SUNT !!
Se duce politistul acasa si cade pe ganduri:
"Bai cred ca vanzatorul ala vrea sa ma faca atent sa vorbesc civilizat cu ...
gata, asta e"
A treia zi se duce politistul fericit la aceeasi cofetarie, cu fruntea sus si ii spune vanzatorului:
- Fiti amabil, rahat sunt ?
La care vanzatorul:
- ESTI ca d-aia te-ai facut politist !!!

Iorz truli,

May 17, 2008


Da, da...stiu, e o leapsa, dar e tare si e un motiv in plus sa ma laud cu diverse chestii pe care le-am facut astfel incat sa nu para ca ma laud :) ioi

01) Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02) Swam with wild dolphins (din captivitate se pune?)
03) Climbed a mountain
04) Taken a Ferrari for a test drive (nu, dar stiu 2 persoane care au facut asta :) )
05) Been inside the Great Pyramid
06) Held a tarantula.
07) Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08) Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
09) Hugged a tree
10) Done a striptease
11) Bungee jumped (inca nu, dar e in plan pt vara asta)
12) Visited Paris
13) Watched a lightning storm at sea
14) Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15) Seen the Northern Lights
16) Gone to a huge sports game
17) Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18) Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19) Touched an iceberg
20) Slept under the stars
21) Changed a baby’s diaper (mda...)
22) Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23) Watched a meteor shower
24) Gotten drunk on ( a lot of) champagne :)
25) Given more than you can afford to charity
26) Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27) Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28) Had a food fight
29) Bet on a winning horse
30) Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
31) Asked out a stranger
32) Had a snowball fight
33) Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34) Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35) Held a lamb (and ate it afterwards :)) kidding)
36) Enacted a favorite fantasy
37) Taken a midnight skinny dip
38) Taken an ice cold bath ( traiasca apanova)
39) Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40) Seen a total eclipse
41) Ridden a roller coaster
42) Hit a home run
43) Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44) Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45) Adopted an accent for an entire day
46) Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47) Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48) Had two hard drives for your computer
49) Visited all 50 states of USA
50) Loved your job for all accounts
51) Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52) Had enough money to be truly satisfied(once)
53) Had amazing friends
54) Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55) Watched wild whales
56) Stolen a sign
57) Backpacked in Europe
58) Taken a road-trip
59) Rock climbing (fara echipament...sort of)
60) Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice
61) Midnight walk on the beach
62) Sky diving
63) Visited Ireland
64) Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65) In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
66) Visited Japan
67) Bench pressed your own weight
68) Milked a cow
69) Alphabetized your records
70) Pretended to be a superhero
71) Sung karaoke
72) Lounged around in bed all day
73) Posed nude in front of strangers
74) Scuba diving
75) Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye
76) Kissed in the rain
77) Played in the mud
78) Played in the rain
79) Gone to a drive-in theater
80) Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it
81) Visited the Great Wall of China
82) Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog (not yet- this blog is 100% reader-free)
83) Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84) Started a business
85) Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86) Toured ancient sites
87) Taken a martial arts class
88) Sword fought for the honor of a woman
89) Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90) Gotten engaged
91) Been in a movie
92) Crashed a party
93) Loved someone you shouldn’t have
94) Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95) Gotten married
96) Had sex at the office
97) Gone without food for 5 days
98) Made cookies from scratch
99) Won first prize in a costume contest
100) Ridden a gondola in Venice
101) Gotten a tattoo
102) Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103) Gotten divorced
104) Been on television news programs as an “expert”
105) Got flowers for no reason
106) Masturbated in a public place
107) Got so drunk you don’t remember anything
108) Taken illegal drugs
109) Performed on stage
110) Been to Las Vegas
111) Recorded music
112) Eaten shark
113) Had a one-night stand
114) Gone to Thailand
115) Seen Siouxie live
116) Bought a house
117) Been in a combat zone
118) Buried one/both of your parents
119) Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off (mda...:| )
120) Been on a cruise ship
121) Spoken more than one language fluently
122) Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123) Bounced a check
124) Performed in Rocky Horror
125) Read - and understood - your credit report
126) Raised children.
127) Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy.
128) Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129) Created and named your own constellation of stars
130) Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131) Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132) Called or written your Congress person
133) Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134) …more than once? - More than twice?
135) Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136) Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
137) Had an abortion or your female partner did
138) Had plastic surgery
139) Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived.
140) Wrote articles for a large publication
141) Lost over 100 pounds
142) Held someone while they were having a flashback
143) Piloted an airplane
144) Petted a stingray
145) Broken someone’s heart
146) Helped an animal give birth
147) Been fired or laid off from a job
148) Won money on a T.V. game show
149) Broken a bone
150) Killed a human being
151) Gone on an African photo safari
152) Ridden a motorcycle
153) Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
154) Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155) Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156) Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157) Ridden a horse
158) Had major surgery
159) Had sex on a moving train
160) Had a snake as a pet
161) Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162) Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163) Slept for more than 30 hours
164) Visited lots of foreign countries
165) Visited all 7 continents
166) Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167) Eaten kangaroo meat
168) Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169) Been a sperm or egg donor
170) Eaten sushi
171) Had your picture in the newspaper
172) Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173) Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
174) Gotten someone fired for their actions
175) Gone back to school
176) Parasailed
177) Changed your name
178) Petted a cockroach
179) Eaten fried green tomatoes.
180) Read The Iliad
181) Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
182) Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183) …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184) Taught yourself an art from scratch
185) Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186) Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187) Skipped all your school reunions
188) Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189) Been elected to public office
190) Written your own computer language
191) Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
192) Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193) Built your own PC from parts
194) Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
195) Had a booth at a street fair
196) Dyed your hair
197) Been a DJ
198) Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199) Written your own role playing game
200) Been arrested.

Apr 22, 2008

Viata m-a invatat ca...(1)

1. Anime-urile ( manga, japanese comic art or whatever) sunt doar niste telenovele puse pe seama unor personaje cu ochi foarte mari si par dubios colorat.

2. De obicei, daca te prinde un prof chiulind de la ora lui, iese urat. Daca te prinde chiulind de la ora lui si esti beat, vine cu tine sa-i faci cinste.

3. Niciodata sa nu subestimezi puterea scotch-ului.

4. Cand vrei sa sochezi, bolduieste.

5. Cel mai eficace mod de a scapa de emo-manele-minimalisti este sa te holbezi la ei si sa le desprinzi insignele.

6.Blogurile si posturile altora sunt mai misto decat orice altceva ti-ar trece tie prin cap sa scrii vreodata.

7. Da.

8. Web comics provoaca mai multa dependenta decat orice cola, tigari sau alcool (oarecum).

Mar 13, 2008

Daca n-ai timp sa faci ceva, fa-o tot timpul

Si mi-am promis sa scriu mai des pe blog. Si nu am timp. Asa ca o sa incerc sa o fac...tot timpul. Subiectele de discutie stau frumusel in draft, gata sa fie completate, dar lenea e mare. Asadar, chiar daca imi incalc unul dintre principiile de baza ale blogului, voi posta o leapsa citita pe multe bloguri. Dar mi se pare oarecum amuzanta. Este vorba de leapsa aia cu muzichie, cu shuffle-ul...stiti voi...

Din lipsa de winamp, am dat shuffle la iTunes si iata ce a iesit:
(ca idee, am si melodii vechi pe care nu le-am sters asa ca nu orice gasiti scris pe acolo musai imi mai place)

1.How are you feeling today?
Avril Lavigne- Complicated (corect)
2.Will you get far in life?
Alex Gaudino- Destination Unknown (nasol...)
3.How do your friends see you?
The Prodigy- Firestarter ( i'm the firestarter, twisted firestarter :> )
4.Will you get married?
Vama Veche- Vara Asta ( O.o I'm too young to die)
5.What is your best friend’s theme?
Pink- Trouble (this thing is the oracle, i tell you:| )
6.What is the story of your life?
Peter Griffin (Family Guy)- Can't touch me :))
7.What was high school like?
Vama Veche- 18 ani (soseaua mea doar cu-n singur sens e mai rau ca DN1 duminica)
8.How can you get ahead in life?
Smash Mouth- I'm a believer (am I not?)
9.What is the best thing about your friends?
Tom Jones- You can leave your hat on (oops.. how did that get in there?:| )
10.What is in store for this weekend?
Faithless Ft. Estelle- Why go ( why not?)
11.What song describes you?
Robbie Williams- Feel (of of of)
12.To describe your grandparents?
Chemical Brothers- Galvanize (cred ca ar lesina mamaie daca ar asculta galvanize)
13.How is your life going?
Aerosmith- I don't wanna miss a thing (apparently)
14.What song will they play at your funeral?
Donna Summers- I will survive ( chiar vreau:))))) )
15.How does the world see you?
Vama Veche- Zmeul ( I'm teh zmeul zmeilor)
16.Will you have a happy life?
Red Hot Chili Peppers- Storm in a teacup ( fuck yeah! )
17.What do your friends really think of you?
Blink 182- The blowjob song ( trist)
18.Do people secretly lust after you?
Robbie Williams- Kids (hell no:| )
19.How can I make myself happy?
Gorillaz- Tomorrow comes today ( me likey)
20.What should you do with your life?
The Simpsons- Spider pig (...look oooout he is the spider pig! ) ma simt nasol ca nu am postat ceva mai interesant...

Feb 7, 2008

My Evilness

You Are 64% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

Mwhahahahahahahahahaha !!! (sunt constienta ca ideea a fost si leapsa pe alte bloguri, dar asta nu ma impiedica sa-mi sustin punctul de vedere)

Multa vreme, multa lume mi-a spus ca sunt rea(si inca imi mai spun). Tough shit. Acum am ocazia de a arata ceea ce sunt. Si da, am raspuns sincer la intrebari. 64 % nu mi se pare un capat de tara si nu ma consider cea mai rea persoana. Si ce daca uneori arunc din greseala smoala fierbinte si cuie pe pisicile din fata blocului? (Sunt sigura ca orice cetatean ingrijorat de numarul felinelor din subsolul blocului ar face asta.) Sau ca nu vreau sa dau locul din tramvai unei pitipoance ingreunate de povara gentutei cu paiete? Rautatea poate fi si buna uneori. Si tot rautatea te invata sa spui "nu" cand vrei sa spui "da". Dar, ca sa nu intram in discutii filozofice despre rautate, ma voi opri aici si ma voi intoarce la cartea mea favorita, "101 metode de a transa pisici".

Jan 25, 2008

RATB- Inceputuri

CHEERS! to this post (and many more to come)...

Asa incepe primul meu post despre minunata incursiune zilnica si mirobolanta aventura a Regiei Autonome de Transport Bucuresti, un taram de basm in care raul invinge intotdeauna binele. Sau era invers? Hmm.
In fiecare zi dai peste oameni deosebiti si pe care-i vei tine minte o vreme( asta daca dai nas in nas zilnic in troleu). De exemplu povestioara de astazi, din tramvai, m-a facut sa meditez vreo ...10 secunde...asupra tiganilor si a analfabetismului intalnit la acestia. Urc in tramvai. Decent de aglomerat. Doua tinere de etnie rroma(aka tiganci care insumeaza 3 puradei/persoana) se asezasera abuziv pe doua scaune si vorbeau in legea lor, tare si tiganeste. Dupa un timp, incepe un interesant schimb de replici in limba noastra mama, romana:

Rrommy 1: " Phaaaa!!!"
Rrommy 2: " She'i pha?"
Rrommy 1: " Phai hi-am hamintit ha htre hsa cobo-h-ram lah mos-hi-lor"
Rrommy 2: " Da' de she mancatiash? "
Rrommy 1: " Phai a zhis Mershedesu( serios!) ca sa ieu tilifon si pe mos-hi-lor ie c-honecs"
(Puradeii in numar de 3 chicotesc)
Rrommy 2: " she tilifon hiei?"
Rrommy 1: " Da' nustu pha...(pauza)....un nochia cu manele"
(Rrommy 2 + puradeii chicotesc)
Rrommy 1: "Da' nu fhie d'ala h-auriu"
Puradeii in cor: "Da si cu gutzaaaaa!!!"

Deznodamant: tigancile coboara la Mosilor, pierzandu-si urmele printre oameni( si puradeii printre fuste). Iubesc tramvaiul. Intotdeauna ma binedispune/indispune prin oamenii care calatoresc cu el. As mai avea multe de povestit, dar toate la timpul lor. Sa calatoriti bine!?

Cum sa devii EMO in 10 pasi simpli

Esti suparat/a ca ti-ai rupt unghia? Simti ca nu-ti gasesti stilul potrivit si esti in urma? Eziti intre manele si minimale? Ei bine, atunci este cazul sa devii EMO.

Invata cum sa spargi frontierele in doar 10 pasi simpli. Iata un ghid scurt si obiectiv despre cum sa devii o persoana unica si trendy:

1) Freza. Ca sa te remarce lumea, trebuie sa ti vada de la o posta unicitatea. Nu te teme si vopseste-te cu incredere in culori placute ca verde, albastru, roz sau de ce nu, alb metalizat. Doar esti rebel si trebuie sa te afirmi (sau sa ii demonstrezi unui cocos ca-virgula- creasta ta e mai colorata). Si ca totul sa fie cu adevarat emo, frezei nu trebuie sa-i lipseasca BRETONUL(este vital). Asimetric (si facut de zici ca e taiat de un orb cu un fierastrau electric si Parkinson), bretonul obligatoriu trebuie inecat in fixativ. Altfel isi pierde farmecul. Si mirosul. (Bonus tip: in final, parul ar trebui sa arate negru cu suvite, lins si nespalat. Scuteste-te de efort. Nu te mai spala. Natural e cel mai bine).

2) Hainele.(Key word: negru.) Partea buna e ca nu trebuie sa-ti iei haine sclipicioase si scumpe din mall. Partea proasta e ca, well, majoritatea cumparaturilor se vor face la raionul de copii(si acolo cu noroc).
Blugii/pantalonii de orice fel trebuie sa fie stramti. Lipiti de corp. O a doua piele, daca vrei. Neaparat negri pentru ca toata lumea stie ca negrul este culoarea suferintei, iar tu suferi. In partea de sus, maieuri si bluze cu 3, chiar 4 numere mai mici daca se poate( un plus de stil daca ai 1.50 si 70 de kg). Ca incaltaminte, nu te lua dupa toti amatorii. Remember, esti atat de unic incat nu numai ca iti iei conversi, dar ii iei si culoarea ta preferata si originala: negru. (Bonus tip: accesoriile ideale sunt insignele cu mesaje foarte patrunzatoare, ca"Emo". Si sa nu uitam de pierce-uri, unde dictonul "less is more" nu are ce cauta. De la urechi la limba, un kilogram de metal e oricand binevenit. De asemenea, ochelarii dreptunghiulari cu rama groasa neagra sunt un must-have, chiar daca nu suferi de miopie( vei suferi in curand pentru ca o sa vezi doar cu un ochi din cauza bretonului).

3) Muzica. Desigur ca au fost multe dezbateri in legatura cu genul de muzica pe care "emoistii" (adica tu si alti (ratati) oameni originali) il asculta. Unii zic ca e o combinatie intre punk si rock, altii zic ca e ceva nou si, ati ghicit, unic. Asa ca a aparut genul muzical emo pentru a-i multumi pe toti (si din astea: emocore, hardcore emo, soft emo, punk emo, manele emo). Si ca ciupercile dupa ploaie, si trupele aferente(nu le enumar, gugaluieste-le daca vrei). Ideea de baza e ca TU trebuie sa ai un mp3/iPod/megafon/pick-up pe care sa-l umpli pana la refuz cu muzica ta _______<- insert "original" synonym here. Dat la maxim, in cateva saptamani volumul muzicii va face ravagii asupra urechii interne, dar nu asta conteaza. (Bonus tip: un adevarat emo isi va face si taieturi pe incheietura in timpul auditiilor).

4) Atitudinea. In fond, totul se rezuma la comportament. Fara asta, ai fi mediocru. Tine minte, emo vine de la emotional. Dar tu nu te opresti aici. Nu. Tu intruchipezi tristetea. Suferinta este al doilea prenume al tau. Pseudonimul este ura iar porecla- rebelul. Invatacel, trebuie sa te obisnuiesti cu aceste sentimente. Ura, suparare, amaraciune, chin, nemultumire, refuz...ce mai...esti atat de indurerat incat se intreaba lumea cum de mai traiesti. Si foarte important: tu esti singurul care sufera. Nimeni nu simte ce simti tu. Esti rejectat de societate si nimeni nu te intelege. Esti o enigma umblatoare. Un paradox pe doua picioare. (Bonus tip: fii UNIC, independent, sinucigas, anarhist si teribilist. Tu nu ai prieteni, dar in schimb traiesti pentru vizitele regulate pe la TNB in care sa-ti afisezi noua insigna. Sau poate doar iti face placere sa provoci atacuri de cord pensionarilor. Oricare ar fi cauza, EMO este stilul care te avantajeaza si te face original, just like everybody else).

5) The final touch. Degeaba esti EMO daca nu dai sfoara-n tara ca suferi, right? Slava Domnului ca s-a inventat hi5-ul. Si ca, fiind gratis, orice blonda cu poze facute in baie sau baietel cu cosuri si pectorali isi poate face un cont, devenind vedeta peste (poate) noapte. Asa ca, de ce sa nu profiti de aceasta minune dumnezeiasca si sa te faci remarcat? Pasii sunt simpli, nu-i mai insir aici. Tot ce trebuie sa retii sunt urmatoarele: alege un nume socant ( gen MiSeRabLeEmO Life <3 -- neaparat litere mici si mari alternate) si un profil cat mai negru, cu mici nuante roz, ca totusi nu esti goth, nu? De asemenea, pune poze in care se vede juma' de converse prafuit si muuult par. Mergi la sigur, baga si o poza cu TNB pe fundal. Apoi, vinde-ti viata, demnitatea si respectul ramas pentru a cersi commenturi, promitand ca le vei returna. Bravo, invatacel, ai ajuns la jumatatea ghidului. Daca ai respectat tot ce scria mai sus, incepi sa arati si sa te porti ca un emo veritabil. Congrats!

6) - 10) Autorul si-a taiat venele prin spanzurare deoarece si-a dat seama ca nimeni nu-l iubeste. Trist.